Beliefs…………………………..are what you believe to be true at any given moment about you, other people, society etc.
Whatever you are thinking about, if you believe it to be true, will determine how you behave and the way you communicate.
Beliefs are statements that run through your conscious and sub-conscious mind……………….with this in mind (excuse the pun), when we are aware of the beliefs that don’t serve us, we can consciously change them for beliefs that empower us in a positive way!
Sounds simple, and it is if you work at it!
Firstly, identify and become aware of what isn’t serving you.
e.g. ….. I can’t stand up in public and speak as I am not confident enough!
…… All men/women are rotten and I’ll never meet a nice one!
Secondly, decide on a new empowering belief! (Lots of examples on the Emotions pages)
e.g. ….. I have the confidence to stand up in front of others and promote the benefits of my business with ease.
……..I’ll meet the right man/woman for me and have a happy relationship when the time is right.
Awareness is the key here!
Next, turning the empowering belief into a Rock Solid Self Belief, is the key to making the process work and there a number of way of doing this:
List (or mind map) where you have demonstrated the new belief in your life, in the past or the present, (visualise the future too!) it will probably be in a different form, different area of life, but if you think hard enough, you will find it. Use coloured pens, turn this into a creative masterpiece (or just make a list!! Dependant on your style)
– on the football pitch as a youngster. (Remember the thrill of running on the pitch)
-with your children (Teaching them to ride a bike)
-driving your car (Travelling around town getting from A – B)
-In the swimming pool (Completing those lengths and feeling great!)
-singing in Church (letting rip and enjoying yourself)
List who witnessed you doing these things; list the benefits to your confidence in these situation,s to yourself and others; look at your old photos for ideas; fill an A4 sheet until it’s full!
e.g. happy relationship
– list all the happy relationships you know of. (past and present)
-list what positive feelings a happy relationship will bring. (see database for ideas)
-interests, hobbies, outings you’d like to share.
-list attributes/values of potential partner
Again, fill an A4 sheet with all this info and keep going until you can feel a shift in your beliefs.
Writing this on paper is the key here, the importance of etching this information onto paper, is like scribing it into your sub-conscious!!
Keep adding to the list, go back to it when you come up with new evidence. The evidence is your powerful resource!!
Write the belief on a ‘post it’ where you can see it and read it often. Say it out loud…………………..affirm it, affirmations can work wonders!
Create a list of new beliefs and read them regularly, take the relevant ones along with you prior to when you know you’ll need them. It can be empowering to repeat them through in your mind just before an event, activity or conversation.
We all have internal chatter going on 24/7, even when we are asleep (our dreams), so be kind to yourself and choose to think empowering thoughts!!
Empowering beliefs create certainty, and the person with the most certainty wins the game!
“What you think about, you bring about!”
Affirmations are a way of cementing the above beliefs into your sub-conscious. Repeat them verbally over and over again and you will notice that your inner positive voice will get louder and louder, whilst the negative chatter will diminish!
A Value is what is important for you to feel in your life. So it’s a feeling, it’s an emotion.
We all live our lives by the hierarchy (order of importance) of our Values and when life doesn’t feel good, it’s probably because we are not living to our Values.
Awareness is the key here!
When we know want we want to feel, we can do something to make changes. Most people live their life by default, on automatic pilot. Maybe following other peoples Values!
Identify the emotion (feeling) you want in your life and work towards bringing it in. the individual Emotion pages are there for that very reason! If you can’t think of the right emotion have a look on the database. Look around at the people you admire, friends or famous people (past and present) , which trait do they have that you would like?
Conflicts within us arise because our dominant negative emotions out-weigh the positive emotions we want to feel.
Work at eradicating the negatives, as well as empowering the positives and you’ll feel much happier!
Create a list of your top 10 Values taking care to put them in order (the most important first, then the second most important etc).
Write the list out and focus on bringing these Values (feelings/emotions) into your life every day. (see Practical Tips on the Emotion pages on how to do this).
Next, list the 10 ways having these Values in your life, will positively make a difference. This will give you the motivation to go out and take the tangible steps that will make the changes!
We all live our lives by Rules, usually someone else’s!
But here is an opportunity for you to write your own Rules, in relation to the Values (emotions/feelings) you want to feel. And what is more, these Rules make it VERY easy to feel good, everyday!!
It’s a way of taking control of your emotions and feeling great!!
Again, this takes practise and again, Awareness is the key!!
Positive Values (Emotions/Feelings)
Once you have identified which Positive Values (Feelings/Emotions) you want in your life, create a Rule that makes it VERY easy for you to feel it. This Rule has to FEEL right. Each of us will respond differently to different Rules, so play around til you find the right Rule for you.
These Rules will make it VERY EASY for you to feel what you want to feel.
Prefix the Rule with………….. Anytime….
So, if you want to have………Confidence……………..in your life, the Rule might be…………..
e.g…..Anytime I go for it, I feel Confident. Or
e.g….Anytime I appreciate my own abilities, I feel Confident.
There are sample Rules listed on the individual Emotions (values/feelings) pages. Or make up your own.
Negative Values (Emotions/Feelings)
Same philosophy as for the Positive, but the wording is slightly different AND these Rules make it VERY HARD for you to feel what you don’t want to feel!
Prefix these Rules with………The only time I will allow myself to feel..
e.g. The only time I will allow myself to feel…………..Frustrated, is when I haven’t looked at every avenue, as a way forward.
e.g. The only time I will allow myself to feel…………..Hopelessness, is when I haven’t altered my thinking.
Please be sensible here…………………………..Bearing in mind that sometimes our Negative Values (Feeling/Emotions), are warning signs or a barometer that we need to make changes, protect ourselves or in fact seek professional help.
If you want to go the whole hog, you can create your own set of Beliefs, Values and Rules using the following template.
Over the last seven years, this is the format I have worked with for many clients and it has been extremely successful at keeping them on track. My clients keep a copy to hand a read when needed.
(This list has been put together from hundreds of examples and does not represent any one person)