One of the Fantasies in life is that we get married and live happily ever after!
I think 99.9% of us that have been married know that is a myth!!
Fact: Being married (or a living together partnership) is only as happy as the two individuals make it.
I have come to realise, through my own experience and those of my clients that your partner can only love you to the degree that they are able. This is determined by their own emotional state, which in turn has been created by their past experiences, their upbringing and willingness to work and grow with you.
Having coached many people through their relationship pains, I have stopped being amazed at some of the antics that go on between two people, in a supposedly committed relationship.
Working together to create a ‘passionate friendship’ is the route to feeling happy within your marriage and once you have passed the ‘honeymoon’ period (anything from a few weeks to two years), relationships can be hard work, in fact many do not survive beyond this point!
Hard work looks like:
- Recognising and appreciating your partner for who they are and allowing them to be that person.
- Linking what is important to you (your Values) to what is important to them (their Values).
- Acknowledging and addressing your own fears, as they surface in relation to your partners behaviours.
Watch out for the Newsletters with lots of Hints and Tips on this subject