126c Relationship Survival Tool……Being Single

Being Single


Being Single

There are typically two types of Single people.
1. Independent, happy go lucky, content to be on your own Singles. Or

2. Searching, lonely and keen to find a partner Singles.

Or somewhere in between.

If you fall into the first category, then life rolls on with your own interests and activities keeping you busy whilst you embrace the life you lead with enthusiasm and independence.

If you fall into the second category life can be frustrating, lonely and it can feel as if life is passing you by. AND you are missing out on opportunities to embrace the benefits of being Single.

The following Survival Tips are meant for you:

If you are looking for someone to share your life with then the trick is to maintain your wish for a partner whole heartedly, whilst letting go of your impatience and frustration because you haven’t found him/her yet.

Get yourself into the first category and life will seem so much happier and you’re more likely to meet someone. So how do you do that? (get into the first category)

Enjoy your freedom. Use the space you have to accept all new opportunities, social events and learn new skills.

Create meaningful friendships. Being Single doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. When you are in a relationship you tend to have less time for your friends. Being Single gives you the time to cultivate those friendships. Also, accept when your friends meets their new partners, the dynamics shift. It’s all just the grand scheme in life, nothing ever stays the same.

-Learn to let go of your past. Be aware of how your patterns and past play out in your relationships and work towards repairing and healing them. Consider either reading up on the subject or working with a Coach/Therapist to prepare the ground for meeting your partner. This will ensure you don’t just meet the NEXT partner, but you’ll have more chance of meeting the RIGHT partner for you.

-Stop being envious of couples and note the bits you want! When you see two people happy together, aspire to have a relationship that makes you happy too. Note the behaviours you admire. When I was Single, I used to admire the way my hairdressers husband used to fly in and plant a Goodbye kiss on her face, before dashing out. I used to think, ”How lovely, I want someone like that!” It sounds simple, but it’s embracing the positive and it creates excitement of what’s to come.

What you think about, you bring about!

-Focus on being the best you can be. Make the most of you time, focus on what’s important to you and excel in the areas of your life that matter most. Start a new business, get involved with family members, enhance your existing talents (musical, painting, dancing etc)

-Indulge Yourself. Be kind to yourself, have a massage or visit the beauticians.

-Play the field. Enjoy the freedom to flirt with people and create social opportunities to meet new friends too.

-Count your Blessings. Look at your life with New Eyes and feel the gratitude for what you already have. Sometimes we spend so much time looking for our fantasy, we miss what is under our feet.

-Use affirmations. Change your mind-set around being Single. Here are a few affirmations that may help:

• I enjoy using the time on my own to my benefit and advantage.
• My confidence grows daily as I claim more and more of the world around me for myself.
• I am determined to make this time of my life as happy and as enjoyable as I can.

Sit down and create your own affirmations.

-Become an Optimist. Look on the bright side of life, rather on the doom and gloom. Be aware of when your thoughts are dragging you down. It’s amazing how much we think by default!

-Ignore the negative comments. Other people’s opinions can very often shape our mind-set. When people ask if you are still on your own, be pre-armed with a positive comment back like, ‘I’ll happily single thankyou.”

-Get creative…..write something. Use the time to sit down and write, either a novel or perhaps stories from your own life. Start a journal and you might find it’ll all just pour out of you. Not only is this very therapeutic, it could be the content of your first book!!

-Do everything you would do, if you were with a friend or a partner. Don’t let being on your own stop you doing things. If there is something you long to do, DO IT, either on your own or find someone to do it with.

-Indulge in reading. Being Single give you lots of time to read stuff. I found when I was single I read each night before going to sleep and got through hundreds of books. That stopped when I met my partner!

-Join an online community. A modern phenomenon, but a relevant one now. If this is something you’ve ruled out before, try it.

Above all else Set your Intentions to be HAPPILY SINGLE!!

Here is a Script you may find useful to read to yourself:

“I am delighted at having an opportunity to please myself. I enjoy doing exactly what I want to do. As I discover where my strengths lie, I begin to employ these strengths to discover new interests and develop new skills. It is invigorating to learn and it is elating to proceed. Even the smallest step of progress towards being happy as a single person fills me with pleasure. My happiness and interest in life and the world around me attracts other positive people. I am beginning to truly enjoy the freedom my single life affords me and I provide myself with interesting things to do and exciting people to meet. I savour the privacy of being on my own and I delight in the company of new and old friends.”