124 P1 Negative Emotion – People Pleasing

People Pleasing

Definition

People Pleaser: A person who spends a lot of energy pleasing others.

Practical Tips

Awareness is the key!

  1. Work out WHY you are pleasing others (to be liked / needed / busy ).
  2. Decide to start saying ‘No’, when it doesn’t serve you.
  3. Ask yourself a QQ (Quality Question) e.g. Will it make my Happy? Will it bring me business.
  4. And if the answer is NO, then don’t do it!
  5. Pop the QQ on a Post It note and stick somewhere prominent to remind you.
  6. Appreciate how you could spend the saved time, how that could benefit you and enhance your life.

Beliefs and Affirmations

I’m a loyal, good friend and can also put myself first and say ‘No’.

Rules

(How to make it very HARD to feel the negative emotion)

The only time I will allow myself to feel…….…….I’m being a People Pleaser is when it serves my life.

Example Challenges

DC056 People that say “Oh, can you do this, can you do that?” when you announce you are ‘nipping’ to the bank!

DC142 My clients ring me up ‘out of hours’ and expect me to fit them in, even when it’s not convenient for me!

DC156 I’m fed up of pussyfooting around my boyfriend, he makes me feel awful.

DC160 A work colleague keeps making silly mistakes and I don’t know how to handle it. I keep covering up for him.

Quotes

“You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.”
― Mandy Hale

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